Streaks of Light

A page extracted from 365 Days of Osho:

Do whatever is needed in life; just remain aloof from it.
Let it happen on the periphery; the center remains unattached to it.

One has to do things, so one goes on doing them, but one should not be disturbed by them. It is exactly an act, a performance. Once this is understood you can be anywhere, in any kind of word and keep your cool; you can keep yourself absolutely uncontaminated.

The problem is that down the ages we have been taight to do good, not do bad, to do this, not to do that. We have been given commandments, do’s and don’ts. I don’t give you any commandment. I’m not concerned with what you do- my whole concern is with your being.

If you are silent, blissful, centered, do whatever is needed to be done, and there is no problem. If you are not centered, if you are not collected, integrated inside, if you are not in a meditative state, then even doing good is not going to help. That’s why so many people who go on doing good are nothing but do-gooders. Their ultimate result is harm.

The emphasis has to be not doing but on being, and being is a totally different phenomenon. It doesn’t matter whether you are an attorney or a doctor or an engineer or a prostitute or a politician; it doesn’t matter what you are doing. All that matters is: Are you centered in your being? And that will change many things.

—-

A wonderful and very timely excerpt. ^_^

Hover

Posted on: May 6, 2009

It feels like ending a chapter of an expected open-ended book.

Unseen words are often said with the motivation to prove a point. But what if the point being proved, doesn’t exist? or is truly irrelevant, thus the only real perspective from all of this should come from introspection?

Draining to see and feel the blame coming your way or to another person’s face, simply because the other side doesn’t have anyone else to blame it to. Or the lack of will to blame it on themselves.

Just complicated.

I shifted to a new pair of crutches. Forearm ones. A little more wobbly than the axial crutches but at least it lessens the stares just a little bit.

It’s much harder to move around with clamps stuck on your forearms while you helplessly open doors. The good thing about forearm crutches is that they give me an upgraded ability to move in tight spaces. Yey!

–0–

I haven’t had the time to continue the black notebook project after 4 short pages of doodles. Sigh. Too much work, too little time. Sometimes I really wonder what it’s like to not have an office job and be the god of my own time.

Hmmm…maybe that’s not such a bad idea after all. Heh. 😀

Look at me right-side up,
Or, chance upon me through webbed strands,

You can even glance from the bottom of a glass,
Or, through ink-filled vase.

But do take a really close look at me,
as I indifferently turn my back.

Finally! After 8 weeks my cast is gone!

I am now the proud owner of a swollen, hairy and very fragile leg and a 7K aircast >_< sigh.

*peeks at leg*

Looks very much like Robocop’s leg.

Or a Storm Trooper’s.

Or a Bionic leg.

@_@

It doesn’t fit my wardrobe. -.-

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

One of the most infuriating experiences I had while in crutches was with a Guard in the Greenbelt 5 parking lot near the handicapped zone.

Guard: “Hindi po kayo pwede dito, pang-handicap lang to.” (You can’t park here, the space is for handicapped people only.)

Me: “Handicapped ako, tignan mo” (I’m handicapped, look at my leg.) (points to my leg)

Guard: “Dapat po disabled kayo kalahati ng katawan.” (Half of your body should be disabled to be able to use the handicap zone)

Me: “Ano?! May saklay nga ako!” (What?! I have crutches!)

Guard: (Points to the handicap sign) “Dapat may may wheelchair.”

Me: (While getting out of the car) “Tanga ka ba? Hindi lahat ng handicapped naka-wheel chair!” (Are you stupid? Not all handicapped people are in wheelchairs!)

Cut to me demonstrating a walk-out in crutches. Hah!

People tend to look at you differently while you’re in a cast.
From my recent observations, I summed it up into three types of people: Loving; Indifferent; and the Horrified ones.

Loving People
They are the ones who will go out of their way to open a door for you, move a chair or a table to one side, offer food or other stuff you might need before settling down. They will often watch over your leg, like a hawk, making sure nothing comes within a 1 meter radius.

Indifferent People
They see your casted leg but make like it’s a normal, like socks. They will gladly open doors for you, only when asked (about 3 times, you might be even told to wait for their help). They leave stuff on the ground unmindful of the handicapped person crutching their way to and fro. They can look at you and not see your casted leg or the pair of crutches protruding from your armpits.

Horrified People
Usually aged 45 up, who would look at you like you were a terrorist by your mere presence and that a handicapped person like you should stay inside the house until you’re fully healed (and by “fully” I mean back to your normal walking state) They stare and stare, at the cast. Some ask how you fell, but don’t make eye contact, they do make cast eye contact, though. Some even bow their heads while you hobble past them. And you often feel like a monster around them.

Why I do have to manage your mismanaged time?

Do you think it’s easy doing this all over again in a casted leg? It’s fuckin’ swollen because I’m so fuckin’ tired. But I have to stay up because of your effin’ requirement.

You wanted this on yourself so stop asking other people to take in your shit.

Tags:

I’m not really into religious forwarded emails, but I’m making an exception for this one. Sent by my friend Liza at the most appropriate times 🙂

One day I decided to quit…
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. .. I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
“God”, I said. “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”
His answer surprised me…
“Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?”
“Yes”, I replied.
When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
“In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. “I would not quit.” He said. “Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. .. But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots.

Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.”

He said to me. “Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots.”

“I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. ” Don’t compare yourself to others ..” He said. ” The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern … Yet, they both make the forest beautiful.”

Your time will come, ” God said to me. ” You will rise high! ” How high should I rise?” I asked.

How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked in return.

“As high as it can? ” I questioned.

” Yes. ” He said, “Give me glory by rising as high as you can. ”

I left the forest and bring back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

He will never give up on you.

Never regret a day in your life.

Good days give you happiness

Bad days give you experiences;

Both are essential to life.

A happy and meaningful life requires our continuous input and creativity. It does not happen by chance. It happens because of our choices and actions. And each day we are given new opportunities to choose and act and, in doing so, we create our own unique journey.” Keep going…

Happiness keeps you Sweet,

Trials keep you Strong, Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you humble , Success keeps You Glowing, but Only God keeps You Going!

Yeah, I fractured my ankle.

Here’s the real story ^_^  (If you’re a relative, reading this, don’t tell the grannies, aunts, uncles and my dad, I’m already in a cast and don’t want to be living in hell in a cast)

It was our Montecito shoot on a Friday, January 30. I had plans that evening and was tired the  3 weeks  before today because of overtime work for the same client. This is a rush project and we had to make do of the tiny amount of time given to a large load of work. So I was tired, really tired, and we had to wake up at 5am that morning to rush to the location in laguna. I brought my shortboard. (I haven’t been skating for a really long time because of overtime). I was actually excited to skate there while waiting for the set ups.

It was 5am and we were waiting for the photographer. He was late, apparently, his son was sent to jail that same night and he (photographer) wasn’t able sleep the whole night fixing his son’s mess. So we eventually left at 630am and had to pass by the photog’s house for personal errands.

By the time we reached montecito, it was already 830am. We looked for a great location to shoot the layout, found it and starting setting up. While they were doing that I found a nice slightly downhill slope to glide on. So I did. A few times.

And then it happened, as I was gliding down, the board wobbled real bad so I tried to foot break. I lost my balance and was about to fall head first. When I realized it, I turned so hard to counter the headfirst fall that I twisted my left ankle instead. And broke it.

So there, that’s how I got a fracture. I didn’t even know it was a fracture then. I started limping towards the vehicle and sat down. I was thinking, “oh good, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt real pain” and “It actually feels good to feel pain, makes you think you’re still a human being after all the long work hours you’ve been through.” haha. I managed to limp towards the set and check the stuff that has to be checked, after that, we went to the sample house, rested. I put up my left leg and checked the sprain, it was swollen, really, really swollen, the minute Ariel saw it,  he and Chie went to Sta. Rosa to get some bandages. He even gave me a branch cane to walk on.

After the shoot, we arrived in RCBC at 4pm. I managed to get to the 27th floor to my desk. But got wheeled back down to Grepalife when they saw I was already getting hematoma on my ankle.

Had to reaarange my life, room furniture, had to rely on people to help me out most of the time (something I am still learning to accept).

My Photo 365 is already up in flicker, check out the site 😀

Day 19: Meet my foot 2•19•09

One thing I learned about this, was that nobody will really tell you or even give you advice on how to live with a fracture. Not even the doctor. So I’m very thankful for the internet and all the other bloggers who tipped me up on changing my lifestyle around my casted ankle. ^_^

Quotes from people about my ankle:

“Pag-hematoma yan, may fracture! Pa-Xray mo!”

– From Mike, right before I got wheeled to grepa, against my will.

“What, you fell? Great!”

– A phone conversation before getting an xray

“Wow, skateboarding, gaano na kayo katagal naglolongboard?”

– From the radiologist who was more interested in my skating history than taking care not to   bump my leg during the xray

“Teka, ilang taon ka na ba?”

-From the resident who splinted my leg in Makati Med

“Di sila naniniwala na 28 years old ka na. Akala nila bata yung nahulog”

– From the new doctor in St. Luke’s pointing to his two residents

“May pagka-gnarly nga ng hulog mo eh”

– From Joey through YM

“eh sino ba kasi may kasalanan niyan?”

– From Harvey, right after whining about not being able to move much

“Mag-skate ka pa ba after?” and “Inuman tayo pagmagaling ka na”

– From a lot of my friends

“We’re planning to kidnap you in a wheel chair when you get your cast.”

– From Leigh and Chette, on my withdrawals

^___^

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