Tell me what you really think, stop trying to hide behind everything,
Stop disappearing and making like nothing happened. I’m not the same person.
Stop concluding that life should revolve around the principles you’ve set and that you believe in.
Avoiding the inevitable only prolongs the pain, unless you really intend to torture people, then you’re really not who you say you are.
You can always make up dozens of excuses not to confront the situation, but it will exist and will stay existing until you do something about.

So stop telling me nothing. Say what you need to say, there’s no such thing as the right timing. Everything is already timed as it is.

I think reading Osho is helping me survive the month. haha

Yet another excerpt taken from 365 Days of Osho, I wonder why it reminds me of someone haha:

When you live with blind people, live like a blind person.
You cannot change the whole world.

I know bureaucracy exists, but it has to exist because people are absolutely irresponsible. There is no way suddenly to drop the bureaucracy and the court and the law and the police offices. There is no way, because you will not be able to live for a single moment. It is a necessary evil. One just has to learn to live with people who are not alert, who are fast asleep, who are snoring. It may be disturbing to you, but nothing can be done about it.

At the most, the one thing you can do is not to enforce the same bureaucracy that has been forced on our by society. Don’t force it on anybody else. You may have a wife, a husband, children – don’t force it on them or on your friends. That’s all you can do. But you have to live in society and you have to follow the rules.

So don’t just condemn things. Try to understand. There are many evils that are needed; they are necessary. The choice between right and wrong. In real life the choice is always between a bigger and a lesser evil, a bigger wrong and a lesser wrong.

A page extracted from 365 Days of Osho:

Do whatever is needed in life; just remain aloof from it.
Let it happen on the periphery; the center remains unattached to it.

One has to do things, so one goes on doing them, but one should not be disturbed by them. It is exactly an act, a performance. Once this is understood you can be anywhere, in any kind of word and keep your cool; you can keep yourself absolutely uncontaminated.

The problem is that down the ages we have been taight to do good, not do bad, to do this, not to do that. We have been given commandments, do’s and don’ts. I don’t give you any commandment. I’m not concerned with what you do- my whole concern is with your being.

If you are silent, blissful, centered, do whatever is needed to be done, and there is no problem. If you are not centered, if you are not collected, integrated inside, if you are not in a meditative state, then even doing good is not going to help. That’s why so many people who go on doing good are nothing but do-gooders. Their ultimate result is harm.

The emphasis has to be not doing but on being, and being is a totally different phenomenon. It doesn’t matter whether you are an attorney or a doctor or an engineer or a prostitute or a politician; it doesn’t matter what you are doing. All that matters is: Are you centered in your being? And that will change many things.

—-

A wonderful and very timely excerpt. ^_^

It feels like ending a chapter of an expected open-ended book.

Unseen words are often said with the motivation to prove a point. But what if the point being proved, doesn’t exist? or is truly irrelevant, thus the only real perspective from all of this should come from introspection?

Draining to see and feel the blame coming your way or to another person’s face, simply because the other side doesn’t have anyone else to blame it to. Or the lack of will to blame it on themselves.

Just complicated.

I shifted to a new pair of crutches. Forearm ones. A little more wobbly than the axial crutches but at least it lessens the stares just a little bit.

It’s much harder to move around with clamps stuck on your forearms while you helplessly open doors. The good thing about forearm crutches is that they give me an upgraded ability to move in tight spaces. Yey!

–0–

I haven’t had the time to continue the black notebook project after 4 short pages of doodles. Sigh. Too much work, too little time. Sometimes I really wonder what it’s like to not have an office job and be the god of my own time.

Hmmm…maybe that’s not such a bad idea after all. Heh.

Look at me right-side up,
Or, chance upon me through webbed strands,

You can even glance from the bottom of a glass,
Or, through ink-filled vase.

But do take a really close look at me,
as I indifferently turn my back.

Finally! After 8 weeks my cast is gone!

…

I am now the proud owner of a swollen, hairy and very fragile leg and a 7K aircast >_< sigh.

*peeks at leg*

Looks very much like Robocop’s leg.

…

Or a Storm Trooper’s.

…

Or a Bionic leg.

@_@

It doesn’t fit my wardrobe. -.-

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

One of the most infuriating experiences I had while in crutches was with a Guard in the Greenbelt 5 parking lot near the handicapped zone.

Guard: “Hindi po kayo pwede dito, pang-handicap lang to.” (You can’t park here, the space is for handicapped people only.)

Me: “Handicapped ako, tignan mo” (I’m handicapped, look at my leg.) (points to my leg)

Guard: “Dapat po disabled kayo kalahati ng katawan.” (Half of your body should be disabled to be able to use the handicap zone)

Me: “Ano?! May saklay nga ako!” (What?! I have crutches!)

Guard: (Points to the handicap sign) “Dapat may may wheelchair.”

Me: (While getting out of the car) “Tanga ka ba? Hindi lahat ng handicapped naka-wheel chair!” (Are you stupid? Not all handicapped people are in wheelchairs!)

Cut to me demonstrating a walk-out in crutches. Hah!